Metaspoon - Feeding You Amazing & Funny Videos, News Stories And Images From The Web One day last January, I was extra bored. It was too cold to do anything outside and I’d just cleaned my place a few days ago, so I decided to bum around the mall with some coffee, then do some errands I’d been skipping lately. Not a terrible way of entertaining myself on a gray, chilly Wednesday. I tossed on sweatpants and a hoodie, threw my hair into a messy bun, and got myself a big mocha latte. I wandered around looking at shop windows, sitting on benches, looking at people, talking to a couple of friends on social media, stuff like that. A little while on, I noticed this security guard was doing the “pretending to be occupied but really following you” thing. You know, when they think they’re being sly and sneaky. I’d stroll down a row of shops looking in the windows, and he’d be 20 feet away looking casual and painfully obvious. I guess he saw I’d caught on, because a few minutes later he walked up to me and said something like, “Hi, nice day isn’t it?” I don’t remember what he said verbatim. It was one of those casual lead-ins intended to make you feel at ease but actually put you on edge because you know what’s coming next. So I said something like, “It’s ok, I guess.” He says, “So, are you here to do shopping, or just hanging around?” I said, “I don’t know. I guess I’ll buy something if something catches my eye.” He does that security guy look, like, uh-huh, sure you will, pal. And he says, “You know, the mall is only for shopping, it isn’t for hanging out or anything else.” So I go, “What about the old folks who come here every morning at 6 am just to walk around?” He said, “They aren’t bothering anyone.” I retorted, “Well, neither am I.” He goes, “Are you here looking for work?” I kind of laughed, and I said, “Nope. Definitely not.” He said, “You know, if you shaved and cut your hair, you could probably find something decent. Act more your age, you know? Look more respectable.” The funny thing is, this guy was probably ten years younger than me. I was bewildered. I said something like, “Oh, ok? I’m not looking for work, though.” He goes, “Look, man, I don’t want a problem. If you don’t have business here, then I think you’d better leave.” Well, I’m usually not the type to act like a jerk, but I guess I was feeling saucy. I pulled out my wallet and sifted through it, removing a large stack of 20s, 50s and 100s, and pretended to count through it. See, the old boy didn’t put it together that I’m a freelance copywriter who earns 80 per hour for my services, and business is brisk. Or that several of my clients give me bank notes (for reasons that are none of my business). Or that I have a huge family, and they always give me banknotes for Christmas. Or that doing a bank drop off was one of the errands I’d been putting off. So while I was doing that, I said, “Maybe I’ll buy myself a new timepiece, or maybe a 4k TV, treat myself to a late Christmas gift, you know?” And he said something like, “Uh, yeah, well, have a good day, then.” He walked off looking like a slack-jawed fool. And even after that, he still stopped about 20 yards away and kept eyeing me. I strolled down a few shops to Starbucks and bought two expensive specialty fraps. I took them, and I walked over and handed him one, and I said, “Have a good day too, bud! You look like you could use this,” with a big grin. And he took it. Now, I don’t advocate rubbing people’s nose in stuff. We all have bad days. But judging people by appearance is one of my special pet peeves, and that day I just wasn’t in the mood for it. Sure, it’s security’s responsibility to keep malls safe for patrons. But there’s no reason to bother people who aren’t bothering anyone. Besides, you’d think by now mall security guards would be used to seeing scruffy guys with 5 days of stubble and Legend of Zelda hoodies.
Yogobean WE ARE OPEN TODAY until 7 pm! #yogobean #yogofroyo #frozenyogurt #yogoflavors #coffee #fraps #yogobeanbelize #yogobreakfast #belize
Yogobean YOGOBEAN is Opening it’s doors of second location Thursday June 11th. We are located at the Paradise point building which is located on the corner of Marine Parade and Hutson Street. Come enjoy Delicious Frozen Yogurt, Coffee drinks, and All Day Breakfast items. We are open 8 am to 7 pm until further notice. #yogobean #yogofroyo #frozenyogurt #yogoflavors #coffee #fraps #yogobeanbelize #belize
Yogobean We at YOGOBEAN are so excited to announce an OPENING of a 2ND LOCATION in Belize City! Our SEAFRONT location will be open from Thursday June 11th at 8 am. We will be open EVERYDAY from 8 am to 7 pm until further notice. #yogobean #yogofroyo #frozenyogurt #yogoflavors #coffee #fraps #yogobeanbelize #belize
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